More than a moment of calm at balance Flaotrooms
A couple of weeks ago I had the pleasure of having a lovely self care treat when I was kindly invited to Balance Floatrooms to experience some floatation therapy by trying out one of their floatation tanks.
What I discovered most when I started practicing mindfulness was how unkind we can all be to both ourselves in expecting so much from ourselves mentally and physically without allowing ourselves the rest we need. As we all now know… self care is never selfish… it’s crucial but it’s not always easy. When we start to accept that doing nothing for a time is in fact doing something… it’s called resting…it can help us loose the guilt it often brings with it… the guilt we can give ourselves! Taking small moments just to check in with our breath during a busy day is in fact a little power nap for the mind and a regular meditation practice is like taking our minds to a spa.
As for the our bodies…the busy 21st century we live in can make us feel guilty for sitting down unless we’re either plugged into a laptop, our phones or learning a foreign language!
If you find it difficult to allow your body and mind to rest and have yet to start a meditation practice a good way to dip your toe into allowing your body to just be and float is to experience some floatation therapy. I’d heard a lot about the benefits of floatation tanks but had yet to try one out so I was looking forward to the experience. If you’re not already familiar with flotation tanks, they are basically tanks that are filled with skin-temperature water and epsom salt (magnesium) to allow your body to effortlessly float on the surface of the water so you feel weightless.
Just before I immersed myself into the purple light of the floatation tank. The colours can be changed or you can lie in complete darkness - it’s up to you. You can also see the shower behind me in this pic and also how spotlessly clean the place is!
“The energy used to fight the constant battle against gravity is now redistributed and increases blood flow and supports regulation of both the lymphatic and digestive system. The newfound source of vitality facilitates your natural detoxification systems and helps your body break down excess lactic acid and other toxins produced as a result of inflammation.
In addition, the reduced stimuli within the float tank allows your peripheral nervous system to transition into a parasympathetic state and achieve homeostasis through deep rest and relaxation.”
Balance Floatrooms
Combined with the excitement of having an hour to myself there was also a small bit of fear that it may not be a pleasurable experience due to my tinnitus. You see you never know with Tinnitus or what to expect as it might flare up in a confined space and end up ruining the experience - but that’s where mindfulness helps as it reminds us of how our thoughts are just that - thoughts - and to try to stay present and experience it moment by moment.
My first impression as I walked through the doors of Balance was the very warm welcome I received from the owner Patrick. As there are just two flotation tanks there (each in a separate rooms for privacy) there was also another person booked in for the same time as me so Patrick explained the process and the benefits of flotation therapy and what to expect in our experience.
some of The Benefits of Flotation Therapy
Floatation therapy is said to benefit sleep quality, stress and anxiety, chronic pain and muscle recovery and it can also be of great benefit during pregnancy and like I so frequently say about meditation - it it is also said that it can help with creativity and focus (as you are free from other distractions). On top of all these benefits, the one that excited me the most was that one hour in a flotation tank (the amount of time of each treatment) is the equivalent to 4 hours of deep sleep - now we all want that don’t we?!!
One of the other things I noticed before I even entered the tank itself was how immaculately clean the place was - especially as I visited during a pandemic - you tend to take more notice of these things and Patrick left noting to chance with the level of hygiene I witnessed during my visit. Apart from each tank being emptied and cleaned after each visit, everything else was also spotless and there was even a make-up room to go to afterwards where you had everything necessary to get yourself together again to face the world after you’d had your shower when you’ve finished your treatment. There are also inspirational quotes on all the doors - so I definitely felt at home! The showers themselves are in the room with the tank itself so again - this proves for a comfortable experience.
Once Patrick explains everything and shows you to the tank you lock the door and the experience begins. As I can be a little claustrophobic I decided to use the yoga block Patrick supplied to leave the tank open a bit but I think the next time I would shut it completely as recommended. As I have titanium rods fused to my spine it did take me a couple of minutes to totally relax and allow my body to just float but that’s where my meditation practice helped as I reminded myself that it was just my resistance to letting my body go so as I settled in I began to feel weightless and it felt like heaven. For those of you who also meditate regularly do you know those times when you have said “that meditation was so relaxing” - especially a good body scan when your entire body and mind have completely relaxed? Well this felt like one of those times.
Again, like meditation or going on retreats I’ve often been asked - do you not get bored? Or “Oh I couldn’t just lie there doing nothing” all I say is - try it and see because it’s never doing nothing - you’re lying there giving your body and mind the care and attention and nourishment it needs to do the best job it can on a daily basis. This is not just benificial if you’re an athlete or a professional sports person - our bodies don’t need to be pushed to their limited to be rewarded with time out - our bodies do so much for us daily - they deserve to be rewarded for all they do - as do our minds!
After the experience I did notice that my tinnitus felt a little softer than normal - a bit like it does after I cycle when the wind sounds adjust it - and my entire body felt so relaxed and as for sleep - lets just say that I ‘floated off’ and slept like a baby!
For further information or to treat yourself to floatation therapy visit www.balancefloatrooms.ie
Changing the way I look at change
As Featured in Megs Menopause Website
I discovered I was in early Menopause at the age of 44. I was well used to change in my life, both personally and professionally but this change had it’s challenging moments.
As Featured in Megs Menopause Website
I discovered I was in early Menopause at the age of 44. I was well used to change in my life, both personally and professionally but this change had it’s challenging moments.
At 10 years of age my body was changing in more ways than one - along with hitting puberty and dealing with the changes that every young girl deals with at that age my spine was also growing - be it in the wrong direction. I had been diagnosed with scoliosis and I had a rapid curvature which required immediate surgery. Due to my young age I had to have 2 spinal fusion operations but looking back on it now this early change only made me stronger. I also ran my own my own branding and design agency for 20 years so that has also taught me to adapt to change on a regular basis.
Life is constantly changing
4 years ago I faced a difficult change in the form of a loud ringing sensation in my ear and sudden hearing loss (in the same ear) after visiting numerous ENT consultants looking for answers and feeling very deflated, I made the decision to enroll in a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course. This taught me more about how Life is constantly changing. Our bodies change in so many ways throughout our lives. Our opinions change, our outlook and views about things change, our relationships change. EVERYTHING CHANGES. Why do we fear change so much when everything is constantly changing? When I was told by my GP in June 2017 that my bloods showed that I was in early menopause I thankfully processed the news in a way of acceptance. I said to myself - this is just another part of life - I’ll be fine and for the 6 months that followed I thought I was. I continued to take my magnesium supplements and also started a range of different natural menopause supplements and read all I needed to know to equip me on this new journey.
While I was feeling a tiredness in my body that I had never experienced before my hot flushes didn’t seem too bad - I felt then that they were manageable and I seemed to be managing well at breathing through it. I had had hyperemesis on both my pregnancies so maybe my menopause was going to be a walk in the park? I was feeling like this wasn’t going to knock a stir out of me.
The start of summer 2018 was a different story - while I was still managing my hot flushes through my breath and mindful practice - just acknowledging the flush and reminding myself that it will pass seemed to keep them at bay - I seemed to have no control over how my body was feeling. I have never experienced complete exhaustion quite like it. I went on a 5 day silent mindfulness retreat in June and what I was looking forward to the most apart from deepening my mindful practice was the space away from everyone. While I was enjoying my 7 and 12 year old more than ever in my life I often felt overwhelmed with things I needed to do as a mum - the questions I needed to answer. Thankfully once again because of my mindfulness practice I have been aware of most of these so I seem to catch a lot of them before they set me off but there have obviously been the days when I haven’t… I’m only human! My daughter is 12 so while she is at one end of the hormone spectrum I am at the other end with mine!
While I had finally got on top of my sleep after 3 years of living with tinnitus and endless sleepless nights, menopause was now taking it’s place so along with my body feeling tired in general I was also waking up a lot at night from hot flushes which left me completely exhausted.
overcoming The Physical Pain
I was experiencing back pain like I had never experienced before so I was sent for a DEXA scan and it was confirmed I had osteopenia. My rods were feeling weighty - a sensation I had never felt before and it really scared me.
I was getting the kids ready to go back to school and picking up their bits and pieces and I remember going to a health food shop close to home and told the girl what was going on and then I told her about my tinnitus, then I told her about my scoliosis and she looked at me and said - “Wow, you’ve a lot going on don’t you?!” I felt like collapsing into her arms when she said it as I knew this was something that while I was coping with on my own my body was telling me otherwise. I think I found it most difficult when the kids started back at school as my daughter started secondary school and my son is still in primary so they are in different schools with different uniforms, different requests for lunches, different drop off and pick up times - and above all different needs. Often I would feel as if I wanted to burst into tears when I heard “mum…where are my socks?”!!! I ran my own branding and design agency for almost 20 years so I’m used to being asked lots of questions but often the simplist of questions from my kids felt like I was being asked to solve the world’s problems!
Before menopause I had finally got to a stage in my life when my mindfulness practice had made me feel calmer than I had ever done in my life as I was no longer over-analysing and overthinking like I had spent most of my life. But I was starting to feel overwhelmed over the littlest of things. I have often said it to my close friends and family that I honestly don’t know what I would have been like if I hadn’t learned all I have about noticing and recognising my feelings or spotting my automatic pilot. I would hate to think what I would have been like. It’s as if my body had been hijacked and it’s a very unsettling feeling.
Knowing my body
I recently went back to see my GP as the physical pain in my back was becoming increasingly worse. Along with pilates and yoga I also started cycling when I developed tinnitus, in addition to keeping me fit it also helps me deal with my tinnitus, but my back pain was making my cycle difficult. I knew that cycling has kept me mentally strong over the last few years so the last thing I needed was not to be able to go on my bike. My GP advised that I think about going on HRT as she felt that this would also help to keep the osteoporosis at bay so she suggested I visit my obstetrician for a scan due to my age and as I thought - she also seconded my GP’s suggestion.
It’s not that I didn’t want to go on HRT - I just wanted to make sure it was the right decision for me. When I had hyperemesis on my first pregnancy I also suffered with post-nasal drip but my GP at the time told me I was having chest infections due to my scoliosis and the pressure the pregnancy was putting on my lungs, so I ended up taking lots of very unnecessary antibiotics so you can understand how these days I want to be sure what I put into my body is going to benefit me.
Clarity of mind
One of the things I did after completing my mindfulness course was to develop a range of “Flash cards for grown ups” called MoMe cards - MoMe comes from taking “A Moment for Me” to help encourage taking small moments often to check in with yourself and to encourage positivity and self care. I have connected with so many women - and men - who suffer with tinnitus, or have scoliosis, or who want to explore mindfulness for one reason or another. I often share my experiences of living with tinnitus on my social media posts and I have often been asked how do I stay so positive. However, this past year I have felt that I wanted to share my story, as the impact menopause has had on me has often made this a bit harder but continuing my gratitude and mindful practice has helped but I would hate to think of any woman ever feeling like I have felt in the last year and not be aware of what is happening to them. It was Meg’s Menopause that has given me the strength to write about my experience and also the information I needed to support my decision to start HRT. I feel very grateful for that and also for other feeds such as Menoandme and Hotflush for raising awareness on the effects of menopause.
Before Menopause I used to joke that my tinnitus was my body’s alarm bell shouting at me to slow down but I now know that it was my body’s way of strengthening me for the year that I have just put down. I finally started decided to start HRT a month ago to see if it can help keep my osteopenia stable and osteoperosis at bay. It is not a decision I have taken lightly and the deciding factor for me in the end was my back but like my mindfulness practice I will see how I feel day by day and also see this as another new chapter in my journey and who knows… maybe the best is yet to come!
Thank you so much to Meg Matthews for both all she does to increase awareness for menopause and also for sharing my story on www.megsmenopause.com
The ‘Silent’ Effects of Tinnitus Highlighted on the Big Screen
I finally just got round to going to see the much talked about movie of the moment “A Star is Born” last night. While I knew before I went that alcohol and drug addiction would be key to the storyline I was also surprised to see another topic even closer to home also highlighted - a condition I have lived with for 4 years now… The ‘silent’ illness called tinnitus.
I finally just got round to going to see the much talked about movie of the moment “A Star is Born” last night. While I knew before I went that alcohol and drug addiction would be key to the storyline I was also surprised to see another topic even closer to home also highlighted - a condition I have lived with for 4 years now… The ‘silent’ illness called tinnitus.
Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga star in “A Star is Born” Image © Warner Brothers
I am by no means a movie critic and I also don’t want to spoil the movie for those of you who have yet to see it , however, the movie is based on the story of musician Jackson Maine (played by Bradley Cooper) who discovers − and falls in love with − struggling artist Ally (Lady Gaga). When she meets Jackson in a bar she has just about given up on her dream to make it as a singer but he manages to coax her to fulfill her dream by inviting her on stage at one of his concerts. However, after their romance blossoms and Ally's career takes off it is soon discovered that Jackson is battling an addiction to prescription drugs and alcohol and is also affected mentally by tinnitus and hearing loss since childhood.
According to www.audiology-worldnews.com “The drugs that he is addicted to have been prescribed to help with his tinnitus, which periodically brings him close to anxiety attacks and temper tantrums. Maine's manager and otolaryngologist urge him to wear in-ear monitors, − custom-moulded ear plugs that block sound and allow musicians to hear their voices and instruments over loud audiences and speakers − but he refuses. Over the course of the film, the tinnitus gets worse, and Maine fails to manage it appropriately.”
David Stockdale, CEO of the British Tinnitus Association said of the depiction: "Tinnitus features in a Star is Born throughout - from when the lead character, Jackson Maine comes off stage in the first scene and hears ringing. Jackson dismisses using hearing protection - feeling it impedes his live performance. He doesn't look to address his tinnitus and hearing loss - which he has from childhood. The film gives a harrowing, raw account of the very real impact tinnitus can have."
The ‘SILENT’ Illness
The thing with suffering with something like tinnitus and hearing loss is it is can be so difficult for anyone who doesn’t suffer with it to understand, as like any other invisible illness if someone sees you ‘looking well’ they can often presume you are ‘doing well’. It is so hard to describe the feeling of not being able to escape from the sound. That is why for me personally my meditation and mindfulness practices have helped me daily to acknowledge the sound and try to teach myself to allow it to just be. Some days are more difficult than others but once again the beauty of mindful practice is you begin to understand that every day is different and how you are feeling in one moment - no matter how bad that is or how loud the noise is in that very moment - it will change again in another. Okay, it won’t stop or go away but you might feel differently.
Mindfulness helps me deal with the constant ringing and also hearing loss daily
“It is so hard to describe the feeling of not being able to escape from the sound. That is why for me personally my meditation and mindfulness practices have helped me daily to acknowledge the sound and try to teach myself to allow it to just be.”
Some people may watch this movie and not pay too much attention to the tinnitus part unless they either know someone with tinnitus or suffer with it themselves but it is great to see a movie of this magnitude bring attention to this ‘silent’ illness (that’s in actual fact far from silent to the tinnitus sufferer!) so that people suffering with it don’t feel alone.
The American Tinnitus Association (ATA) have also been raising awareness of the condition and the extreme impact tinnitus can have on people. In seeking to depict Maine’s condition as realistically as possible, Cooper cast his own doctor, Dr. William Slattery, president of the House Ear Clinic, to play his doctor in the movie. In their press release, the ATA say that Cooper portrays with exacting detail and mirrors the reality of someone struggling with tinnitus.
I was also delighted to read that the American Tinnitus Association have also been raising awareness of the condition and the extreme impact it can have on people and also to discover other articles that had been written about the tinnitus since the movies release - one which I discovered on the Refinery 26 website with the headline “A Star Is Born Shows How Serious Tinnitus Can Be” written by health writer Cory Stieg. She writes:
“Tinnitus is defined as a perception of sound in the head that's not produced by sound waves, says LaGuinn Sherlock, AuD, a research audiologist at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Technically, tinnitus is produced by extra electrical activity in the brain after there's been damage in the ear and auditory system. Damage could be a severe injury to the head and neck, excessive earwax, sinus pressure, or a traumatic brain injury. Often, tinnitus is associated with noise-induced hearing loss, which is why it's common among musicians, explains Christopher Chang, MD, an otolaryngologist in Warrenton, VA. In fact, some studies suggest that between 17-43% of rock musicians have chronic tinnitus.
Simply thinking about an incessant buzzing, beeping, humming, or static noise in your head is annoying enough to make most of us cringe, but tinnitus can affect people's mental health and well-being in a very serious way. "A lot of people with bothersome or intrusive tinnitus are experiencing depression and or anxiety because of the ringing," Dr. Sherlock says. On top of that, "some people who are already depressed or anxious are more likely to react to having ringing in the ears than if they were not already depressed or anxious." An estimated 48-78% of people with severe tinnitus also have depression, anxiety, or other behavioral disorders, according to the American Tinnitus Association. In some cases, these associated conditions can lead to suicidal ideation, according to the Hearing Health Foundation.
Unfortunately, there is no cure for tinnitus, so people have to simply manage symptoms. To keep tinnitus from getting worse, the best thing patients can do is protect their hearing by wearing hearing aids, or noise-maskers, Dr. Sherlock says. Sometimes, people with tinnitus are prescribed antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications — like Xanax and Valium — to alleviate some of the emotional effects of the condition, but psychiatric medications are typically not considered the best first approach for treatment, she says. "Such prescription medications are addictive and have gone out of favor; such medications are no longer considered appropriate in the treatment of tinnitus," Dr. Chang says.
David Stockdale, CEO of the British Tinnitus Association have also spoken about the movie and said: "The film gives a harrowing, raw account of the very real impact tinnitus can have."
48%-78% of people with severe tinnitus suffering with depression, anxiety or other behavioral disorders (American Tinnitus Association - see above) is a very high statistic so I hope people to continue to be informed about tinnitus and the effects it can have. I also hope that others who suffer may also find help in living with theirs like I have from the MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) Programme, and by introducing mindfulness into my life. While those difficult days are still there - and today happens to be one of them - I will still do my best to think of it as my internal alarm bell which has allowed me to pause, move a bit slower, connect with myself a bit more and be more present in my life. I guess it also led me here - to start MoMe - and also given me the courage to speak publicly about my journey and to write - here on this blog - and share my journey with you. So in a way - even though it has taken the external sound away from going into my left ear, and there is no escaping the ringing that never stops form inside my head, on bad days like today I guess I can still feel some gratitude for all the more things it has allowed me to see.
If you are or know someone affected by Tinnitus and or hearing loss Deaf Hear provide excellent support and can be contacted on Tel: +353 (0)1 8175700 and also have offices nationwide
If you are suffering alone with tinnitus and finding it particularly difficult at the moment please talk to someone or call:
Samaritans on 116 123 or
SMS: 087 260 9090
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Reassessing the meaning of "having it all"
This pic was taken one morning in October 2008 after I was asked by the Limerick Leader newspaper to take part in a feature titled "Can Women Have it All". I remember getting myself and my daughter ready that morning - we both got all dressed up and ready to be photographed. After the photographs were taken I was called by Anne Sheridan, a journalist with the Limerick Leader to ask me what I thought about working mums having to juggle their careers and motherhood and could we really have it all?
This pic was taken one morning in October 2008 after I was asked by the Limerick Leader newspaper to take part in a feature titled "Can Women Have it All". I remember getting myself and my daughter ready that morning - we both got all dressed up and ready to be photographed. After the photographs were taken I was called by Anne Sheridan, a journalist with the Limerick Leader to ask me what I thought about working mums having to juggle their careers and motherhood and could we really have it all?
It is funny reading back through the article 10 years later as while I spoke about the positive changes motherhood brings to your life and also the pressure I did feel to get back to work as I had my own company I also said "..if you're willing to accept that there's going to be change, and are willing to balance it, you can have it all." Right there and then at that point in my life I did see that I had it all - I was creative director of my own successful award winning design agency and I was also an equally successful mum as my daughter was now 2 years old and I was managing everything perfectly well.
What exactly is "Having it all"?
Now that I am 10 years older - and hopefully 10 years wiser - I would now have paused when asked that question and asked "Well what is having it all?"
When I became a mum I was very fortunate that my husband was looking after the business side of the company so I could concentrate on the design and art direct the designers we had working for us but I still worked so hard and all the final branding and design - which was at the end of the day what we were selling - was down to me.
I briefed the designers, I oversaw the design from start to finish - I was also designing myself, coming up with concepts, taglines for new logos and presenting the designs to our clients. This also meant I needed to look my best at all times - because in the branding and design industry how you present yourself is part of your own brand. The business had been built on our reputation for attention to detail so everything needed to be done to the highest of standards. We were an International award winning design agency and there was a reason for that.
The pressure we put on ourselves
I approached motherhood in the same way as I approached everything I did in my life - I wanted to give it 110% - I knew that from the moment I became pregnant and because I was extremely sick for my entire pregnancy (between my back and hyperemesis) her arrival felt even more beautiful. Due to the titanium rods in my back I needed to have a general anesthetic for her delivery so I felt so lucky to hold her and after I was awoken from my operation and held her for the first time - like any mum will understand - I felt so much love for her and I had an immediate urge to give her all the attention and motherly love she deserved.
I was going to be the best mum I could possibly be and 2 years later when this interview was done I knew and felt I was doing a good job. Was I completely knackered? Yes, all of the time! But once I felt that I was doing everything as best I could, me feeling tired didn't really come into the equation. I just kept on going. My husband would say it to me all the time to take a break and rest but while I listened to him say the words I never really did anything about it. I just kept on going.
I decided shortly after my daughter was born that I would work a 4 day week so I could spend more time with her but because it was my own business I never really switched off for that day. For the first year and a bit I had the support from both grandparents so my husband regularly suggested that maybe I should look at leaving my daughter with his mum on a friday morning so that I could have a few hours for myself - or to catch up on things I needed to but I wouldn't hear of it. I was consumed with so much guilt as a working mum that I insisted on taking my daughter with me - including doing the food shopping!
By the time she was 2 she was full-on and energetic (as most mums who have ever had a 2 year old know), so food shopping could be exhausting but I felt that once she was with me that's what mattered. By that time she was also in a creche as she enjoyed being with other children but I never once considered sending her to creche when I was off so I could do the shopping and maybe even a cup of tea on my own (- what??? A cup of tea on my own??? That would be the most selfish thing any working mother could do - right???) I never thought that my daughter might actually benefit from a relaxed, recharged mum picking her up at lunchtime!
“I never thought that my daughter might actually benefit from a relaxed, recharged mum picking her up at lunchtime!”
I brought her to the library or the park after I did the shopping - everything that I had dreamed of doing as a mum and I would spend every Sunday cooking everything from scratch for the week ahead from every Annabelle Carmel cookbook written. All to be "the best mum" I could be to her. Or at least what I thought was the "best mum I could be".
I rarely stopped to slow down to take a breath and listen to what I needed. That was at a time when I hadn't a clue what self-care or self-love really was. If the term had been mentioned to me I would have just thought it sounded selfish. Full stop. I knew what I was doing after all - didn't I?
Self-Care is Never Selfish
Back then I never made the connection between being on an airplane and the oxygen masks being deployed in the cabin - and motherhood - who do they tell you to tend to first? The message is always loud and clear - put your own mask on before you attend to your children. Self-care isn't just about having your hair or nails done - as I would have thought - it's about really taking care of yourself by resting, listening to your body, relaxing your mind, being present with yourself and really knowing what your needs are.
“As women we sometimes feel we need to prove so much to each other and to ourselves.”
As women we sometimes feel we need to prove so much to each other and to ourselves. We want everyone to know we're doing a great job and we have our 'sh-t' together, when in actual fact it's perfectly okay to say "I'm not okay", or "I'm struggling a bit", or "I find it difficult sometimes" We're not machines but sometimes we feel we have to operate like one - and even machines get to unplug every now and then! So many women don't open up about this and as a result it can lead to many women suffering in silence.
Listen to Your Body
I suffered alot with my back after my second child was born and once again I had had hyperemesis - but this time it was worse and I also had it all through my pregnancy. The recovery is also slow due to the general anesthetic and the complications with my back so I ended up being off work for a while after my son was born with my back but once again found it very difficult to rest - there was always something to be done! Well, that's what I kept telling myself anyway. My husband would constantly say "leave it" or "don't worry about it" but I never listened.
You would have thought after that and other injuries that I developed after 2 car crashes I was involved in that I would have now started to listen to my body or at least connected with it in some way? Not a chance! I was eager to get back to myself but would never have dreamed that resting might just speed the process up - I was too impatient with not moving - too impatient with recovery - too impatient to slow down.
“It took tinnitus and becoming deaf for my mind to finally listen to my body. The loud noise ringing in my head was like my body screaming at me to pay attention.”
It took tinnitus and becoming deaf for my mind to finally listen to my body. The loud noise ringing in my head was like my body screaming at me to pay attention. The MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) Course I completed was the start of a new mindset change for me. Mindfulness and meditation has completely changed my life. I have written about all the benefits I have experienced in other blog posts so I won't go into too much detail here but I am now at a place in my life when I feel more contentment than ever before. I practice every day, I have for me what feels like the perfect balance between work and being a mum and now that I give myself the time I need each day to sit with my myself in meditation and my practice I now have a clarity in my mind that means I can be present for my children when I am with them. I have recently made decisions in my career that gives me the freedom to continue to work and use my creativity in my design but above all it has given me the clarity to make choices that are best for me, and for my family. Not clouded decisions based on what you think is the right thing to do or worse - what you think everyone else thinks you should do!
Empower not pressure
Thankfully I built my design business at a time before the hashtag "Girlboss" existed and often when I see quotes like "Hustle your muscles" and watch women doing all they can to get ahead - it concerns me. I can see so many young girls who become so focused on staying on top of their game and getting ahead in business that they can loose so much focus not only on what they are about but also on their real needs. There's a fine line between empowering women and putting pressure on women - knowing the difference is what's important.
“There’s a fine line between empowering women and putting pressure on women - knowing the difference is what’s important.”
One of the most amazing things about practicing mindfulness is it teaches you to live in the now as opposed to past but it doesn't mean you can't learn from what the past has taught you. I will never regret working as hard as I did for those years - both professionally and as a mum as I believe everything you do in this life makes you stronger but if I could give any advice to my younger self I would have taken more time to check in with myself and ask myself "how are you doing?" once and awhile. I would definitely introduce myself to the power of the breath and taking a moment to listen to it because back then I can't ever remember having a breath!
I fully understand that so many of us women have to work and are doing so for financial reasons only - not career choices or because they want to but it doesn't matter what your circumstances we all have the same needs as women and we all - every single one of us - need to realise the importance of checking in with ourselves and taking small moments to breathe throughout our busy days because whether you work or not - or whether you are a mum or not - life is fast and hectic.
Ten years older and thankfully wiser
So if my now 12 year old daughter in the above pic ever asks me can women have it all - I would probably answer the same - "Yes, 100% we can have it all!" - because we are brave, powerful and strong but never lose sight of what you're about - what you already have in your life and what in actual fact makes you happy.
The more we connect with ourselves the more clarity we have to see what works best for us in both our personal or professional lives. This will help us develop the tools to see ways to make small changes to find the balance we often yearn for or make big changes if we feel they are necessary.
We may even discover that 'having it all' doesn't have to mean 'doing it all'. 'Having it all' can be as as simple as being awake and aware enough to realise and appreciate that in actual fact when you stop to notice - you already do.
Putting My MoMe Cards to the Test on TV3
When I was contacted by one of the lovely researchers at TV3 to appear on their Boost My Business section of Ireland AM, I was excited about the opportunity but also very scared at the thoughts of appearing on live TV! Television was something I had never done - I was comfortable sitting in front of a computer screen but it was a first for me appearing on national television and the fact that it was going to be live - yes LIVE!!! - would normally have only added to my anxiety if I had allowed it to!
After running my own design agency for almost 2 decades, I had done many presentations to clients but since I developed tinnitus I struggled a bit with these until I started meditating. So while I was getting back on track meeting clients and presenting my designs, being on television was another kettle-of-fish! I firmly believe that being mindful about the upcoming appearance really helped how I felt about it. I also had my daughters confirmation on the friday previous so that was a welcomed distraction as I said to myself "I won't think about it until after the confirmation" and that's exactly what happened - it didn't enter my head from that initial call from TV3 until the Sunday before my appearance.
On the journey up to Dublin that morning at 6am, apart from doing my make-up followed by a 10 minute meditation and chatting to my ever supportive husband, I decided to use my MoMe Cards to flick through. I shuffled them around a bit and it's funny as the one card that kept coming up was "Inhale, Exhale, that's how you'll get through it". I joked about it with my husband a bit but I can honestly say it helped me breathe and forget about the cameras and the fact that it was going to be live and just relax about the whole experience.
“I shuffled them around a bit and it’s funny as the one card that kept coming up was “Inhale, Exhale, that’s how you’ll get through it”.”
When we arrived at TV3 everyone there were so welcoming. I initially felt at ease - still a bit nervous - but definitely not anxious like I would have been in the past. I realise 100% that as we get older, age definitely helps us deal with situations like this, but without a doubt I know that mindfulness and meditation helped me breathe and relax in a situation that in the past I would have worked myself up into a tizzy over!
Behind the scenes getting ready for my first live tv appearance and remembering to Breathe!!
It's a wrap! Such a lovely experience with all the Ireland AM team!
Meeting Alan Hughes and below with the lovely Sinéad Desmond who was an absolute pleasure to meet!
We didn't have long to get set up as obviously everything on Live TV happens so quickly - but again - that was probably a good thing! I got the chance to have a quick chat with the really lovely Sinéad Desmond, but after Mark Cagney introduced himself to us it was time to go live! Even though there was no time for a run-through and have a chat about what questions we would be asked, Mark made everyone feel at ease. He was a complete gentleman and even noticed how I was using my cards to help me breathe! So, along with listening to my breath and not my tinnitus ringing loudly, and focusing on what Mark was asking me and not the cameras - I ended up really enjoying the experience in that moment so it was all over before I knew it!
After we wrapped up everyone was so lovely. I got to have another chat with Sinéad Desmond - who was so friendly and approachable - and so genuine! It really was such a lovely experience and one that I am very grateful to the team at Ireland AM and TV3 for. I received such fantastic feedback from family and friends after the appearance and it also proved to be a great way of boosting a little business that ironically never ever set out as one! Thank you TV3!
A Mindful Cycle
I have mentioned before how starting to cycle again has really helped me get relief from my tinnitus. My doctor mentioned that it's the wind blowing past my ear that diffuses the sound so I can escape the constant whistling sound. While I have since discovered other means of distraction - much as meditation and being mindful - I have now started to discover other benefits of cycling apart from the obvious fitness side. Cycling has definitely made me feel more present. I notice my surroundings more and really embrace the freedom of the feeling of being on the bike. As an added bonus, my husband - who introduced me to cycling - and both my children also love it so it has become a great way to spend an hour on a saturday or a sunday.
We are also very fortunate to have the majestic River Shannon on our doorstep with a cycle path that goes from our house directly out to the stunning grounds of the University of Limerick. On a clear winters day it is one of the best feelings in the world to cycle along the banks of the shannon and stop along the way to see the swans and the ducks. My children absolutely love it and since I became open to Mindfulness I have learned how wonderful it is to appreciate these things even more. In a world where we are obsessed with perfection and appearance we all need to stand back and really see the beauty in everything. I mean really notice things. Before I started on my Mindful journey I would have frequently visited the ducks with the lads but I would still have probably had 101 other things going on in my head at the same time so while I saw the ducks I probably didn't really see them. Now I can sit there and watch them with my family and really notice and enjoy those moments in a different way. It's those moments on our cycles that I really enjoy. It's looking at the architecture while cycling around UL's campus along with seeing the shadows of my children on their bikes as we're cycling along. It's knowing that they enjoy it too as there will be plenty of days when they'll say I don't want to go and that's fine to but for the moment I will enjoy the ones when they do.
