Living With Tinnitus

As Featured in "Quiet Ireland" - A Deaf Hear Publication

I’m Niamh, mum to Fay and Luke, wife to Paul and a creative director of my own design company. I set up Designers Ink almost two decades ago and since then we have had good days, bad days, and like everyone else - those want-to-run-away days! I have been lucky enough to have designed some well know brands such as Munster Rugby, Thomond Park Stadium and Kildare GAA and went on to win national and international awards for some of those branding projects. Each role has taught me important life lessons  - but one invaluable lesson I have learned is that life is moving quickly and sometimes we all need to slow down. Recognizing the need to slow down is crucial. Learning how to is the hard part.

When I was 10 years old, I was diagnosed with Scoliosis - a curvature of the spine and I had to undergo two major back surgeries, one which involved two titanium rods being fused parallel to my spine. I never left this slow me down or deter me from living life to the full. However after further injuries in my life, I was encouraged by my excellent physical therapist to explore Pilates which was the start of me slowing down and learning to Breathe.

While Pilates was starting to work for me I faced a set back in september 2014 when I woke up one saturday morning with a loud ringing in my ear. I was soon told by my doctor that I had tinnitus which should go after a few weeks once I took the medication the doctor prescribed - no biggie right? As the weeks went along with the tinnitus I also discovered that I was deaf in the same ear. I visited consultants, had hearing tests and MRI scans but received no answers. While ultimately it was a relief that this wasn't something serious I still felt slightly frustrated that I couldn't get an answer as to why I had this and why it wouldn't go away.

Meditation: Learning to sit with the sound

BEING GUIDED BY DEAF HEAR:

After one of my meetings with Kathleen Daffy at Deaf Hear, Limerick, she was suggested that I explore Mindfulness to see if it would help me manage both the tinnitus and deafness better. I had only heard about 'being mindful' through a friend once but other than that I had never tried it. I was normally too busy running here and there juggling the variety of roles between work, the kids, my pilates, physio, the house and everything that life throws at you. I hadn't taken the time to think about something else. It was Kathleen’s encouragement and support that gave me the courage to explore it further.

This is how my Mindfulness Journey began, I enrolled on a course called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Programme (MBSR Programme) which is run over 8 weeks. The impact it has had on me has been fantastic and thus had such a knock-on effect on my husband and kids. I can honestly say it has changed my life and under no circumstances am I exaggerating when I say it has also helped with my hearing, as just one of the many things that I learned was how to embrace my tinnitus and my deafness. I remember really struggling with meditation at the start of the course. I could never imagine myself liking it until I started to understand Acceptance and acknowledging the loud ringing in my ear. Once I started to do that it seemed to become a bit quieter - a little less intrusive. The funny thing is that almost 4 years on while it has never once stopped it now is just part of my everyday life - and while my curved spine is something I have got used to living with the tinnitus has now also become part of me - part of who I am.

"YOU CAN’T CONTROL THE WAVES BUT YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO SURF":

Life is all about how we deal with things that are thrown at us and as I started to introduce mindfulness and meditation into my life I found that swell as starting to accept my tinnitus i also started to become more creative. My mind became clearer - that is how MoMe was born. I wanted to share some of the things I had learned with my family and friends, and with a creative mindset that wasn't used to slowing down easily, I realised that if like children we were taught to learn some of these quotes then they might just sink in if we take the time to appreciate them. I wanted to create straight forward messages that are tangible; that you can stick anywhere you think you will see them. I have one in the mirror in my bedroom, one on my dressing table, one as a bookmark in my favourite recipe book. Place one anywhere you think you will notice it.

I gave my MoMe cards a test drive with my family and the feedback was very positive and it means a lot to know MoMe is helping other people. It's amazing how we get caught up in all the complexities that life throws at us but if you look at a simple message every day like: "Don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing the best you can" just while you're drying your hair, you'd be surprised at just how fast it will start to sink in.

Since I started MoMe I have had an active social media presence on Instagram which has allowed me to connect with so many others who are suffering from tinnitus. People from all over the world including Peru, the US and Australia but what stood out most to me was how I was contacted by a guy who I have known for years who has been suffering with tinnitus, he told me that he hadn’t spoken about it to anyone for fear that people would think he was “going crazy” as he didn’t want anyone to know he was 'hearing sounds in his head'. This made me realize how much people need to talk about it.
 
I have had discovered from research and from talking to other people who are suffering with tinnitus that there are different types of sounds - for some it’s a buzzing, for some it’s a ringing. Some have it on one ear - like me and others have it in both. We have discussed the things that flare it up for us or situations we can no longer be in, and we have also tried to suggest ways that we can get relief from it. For me the 2 most noticeable thing that bring me relief are my daily meditation and also getting on my bike as the whistling of the wind in one ear seems to drown out the sound in the other. I also now tune into other sound more such as the sound of the rain outside or when I go for a walk I will often stand for a moment and listen to the birds chirping, the sound of the wind blowing or even the sound of cars driving by.

Cycling: Finding distraction from the ringing in my ear when I am on my bike

THERE ARE DAYS THAT ARE TOUGHER THAN OTHERS:

While I am very fortunate that practicing mindfulness and meditation have helped me deal with my tinnitus and deafness there are still those times that I find it more difficult than others. One of the things that I used to love doing but don’t do much of anymore is going shopping. I find that being in shops now disorientates me and I can often feel confused. I now do the majority of my shopping online as this makes it more comfortable for me and I can make decisions clearer. I didn’t want to cut out shopping altogether as I don’t want the tinnitus to control me but you have to see what works for you. I still go shopping but now I am aware that this can happen so I am ready for it and I will shop more leisurely as opposed to having to shop to pick something up. If I need to go food shopping and my children are with me they are thankfully now at at age where they understand. My 7 year old will often say something to me a few times and my 12 year old is old enough to say “Luke, mum can’t hear you!” They also both know to go to my right hand side too as they have a better chance of getting heard!

Socialising has also been difficult as there have been a few times when I have been out with friends friends and they often forget I am deaf so I haven’t a clue what they are saying but as time goes on that is getting easier as they go my right ear more often now than not! I also avoid going to venues with high ceilings as I’ve also noticed that the crows and high ceilings don’t mix well with the tinnitus sufferer!

Along with that for me personally, it’s looking at one of my favorite MoMe cards that says “Accept what is. Let go of what was and have faith in what could be” as this sums up me living with my tinnitus. I have learned to accept that my hearing has changed, I can’t remember not having a rising sound in my ear and I have faith that it has made me stronger and in a way, because of my mindful practice, maybe it has even benefited my life.

Mindful Practice & Motherhood

When I started practicing mindfulness I quickly realised that some people are more naturally mindful than others. My daughter especially has taught me alot in expressing gratitude, being present and being an attentive listener.  She doesn't tend to dwell in the past or worry about things that may or may not happen she just focuses on the now...what's happening at presnt in her life. Mindfulness-based practices can help children calm down, become more focused, fall asleep more easily, alleviate worry, manage anger, and generally become more patient and aware.

I, on the other hand, needed more guidance. Before starting my MBSR programme I would have tended to worry about everything and anything. I would often wake up in the mornings and think - "what have I to worry about today?...I remember my worrying at it's worst when I became a mum for the first time. It was back in 2005 when my design agency was also at it busiest period so I had alot going on. I would wake up some mornings and straight away start thinking..."has Fay (my daughter) everything she needs for creche? Will she be okay going in? What if she get's upset? What will I wear today? What's the weather like out? Have I any meetings? What will we do for dinner later? Have I defrosted the meat? Will Fay miss me at creche? What will I get Aileen for her birthday? What jobs have I on today????...the list was endless and that was even before I sat up to get out of the bed!

Having a creative mind means it's naturally active. I'm very visual in my thoughts so I would often visualise a situation or a certain scenario that might never ever even happen. I still do this but now I am aware of this and the more I practice the more I can recognise what I am doing and bring myself back to the present as they are just thoughts.

My son was 5 when I started my course so by then his little personality was developing and I could see his similarities with me in that he had a creative mindset and tendencies to worry about things alot more than my daughter had ever done. Thankfully instead of saying to him "Oh you're a worrier like me" I now had the tools to be able to say "worries are just thoughts about things that may never happen... I get those thoughts too" When he started to complain about pains in his tummy going to school instead of saying "What's wrong with you?" or "Okay I'll give you a spoon of Calpol" I was now able to say "Do you have pains? That's okay...let's figure out what's causing them..."

I also discovered from both research and a conversation with my GP that when a child rubs their tummy and doesn't point to a specific spot just the general area that it is more often than not a feeling of anxiousness that they are experiencing. I this case we soon discovered through acknowledging my sons feelings and talking about it that he didn't want to go to school as he told me he missed me. After reassuring him that it was okay to feel like he was feeling and that he needed to go to school to learn he started to feel better and the pains started to go. The more we can teach children that all their feelings are okay the more they will be able to express them.

A GENTLE APPROACH

How you introduce it into their lives all depends on their age and what I was conscious of with my son who was approaching 5 at the time was I didn't want it to be forceful or I didn't want him ever saying "oh no...she's making me meditate!" because that would go against everything I now believe in and against what it is all about. With my daughter, the fact that she was older and naturally mindful, it was easier. She was so open to sitting with me and practicing meditation, in fact now, 3 years later she goes to sleep every single night - even when we have been on holidays (the only time she misses it is when she has a sleepover with her cousin or friends).

This meditation is called The Balloon Ride and is available on You Tube.

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Sitting Still Like a Frog by Eline Snel

SITTING STILL LIKE A FROG

As I was going to practice mindfulness myself it felt natural to introduce mindfulness to  both of my children and this also happened naturally as I became more aware and present. It becomes a natural progression when you practice that those close to you see the benefits. I also felt that I needed some extra help from books as I wanted to make it as engaging as possible for my then 5 year old. I did some research and came across a book called Sitting Still Like a Frog by Eline Snel which also included a 60-minute audio CD of guided exercises read by Myla Kabat-Zinn (who along with her husband, Jon Kabat-Zinn, founded MBSR so it instantly attracted my attention). 

This easy to read little book is full of engaging exercises and meditations that you can do with your child in a way that also makes it fun. I did find it challenging to use at the start as being a working mum I found that the only time I could really use it with my son were in the evenings after dinner which meant that he often resisted as he wanted to more visual stimulation like reading a story or watching tv as opposed to sitting down to listen to a meditation. He also knew that if he allowed his body to get sleepy that that meant it was bedtime! It was at that point in time a little too much too soon so now I tend to use it at weekends when we have some extra free time together and he loves it - the exercises are fun and above all are a great way of spending quality time together which in itself is the practice. he also really likes listening to the soothing voice of Myla Kabat-Zinn who talks you through the guided meditation exercises and it's a great way to chill out on a saturday afternoon. 

I think this book should be in every classroom and would be a really effective tool for any teacher who wanted to introduce mindfulness to their class.

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MEDDY TEDDY

I have to be honest and tell you that I wanted to buy this little dude as much for myself as I did for my son! Meddy Teddy is the cutest chilled out teddy you'll ever meet and has been such an effective visual reminder to me as much as he has been to my son! My daughter loves him too but my son has defintely been the one who has claimed ownership of him!

Every morning after I make my sons bead we place him sitting there so he greets my son every night and is a constant reminder to practice gratitude and Metta lovingkindness with either myself or my husband at bedtime (see below). My son has also brought him along to his yoga class and often has fun doing poses with him at home as he comes with his own little yoga pose flash card so my son enjoys bending him into each pose. Above all it's the calmness on Meddy Teddy's face that has had the biggest impact on all of my family as he gets brought everywhere as who wouldn't like to be around this furry, chilled out, furry little zen dude?! I bought mine directly from the Meddy Teddy website as they ship worldwide.

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THE HOBERMAN SPHERE

My mindfulness teacher, Donna, told me about the Hoberman Sphere when I asked her advice about introducing mindfulness to children. Also known as the Breathing Ball and used by Yoga teachers, this is an isokinetic structure patented by Chuck Hoberman that resembles a geodesic dome that opens out into a phere and foldes back down to a fraction of it's normal size. Along with my son loving it's colours and using it to play with it is a great tool for teaching him about connecting to his breath. I usually get my son to breathe himself normally and I start to follow his breath with the sphere, as when you follow the breath for a few cycles, it will start to change on its own and also raises awareness as to how the breath can change.

We picked ours up at a market while visiting friends in cork but I just came across them from an irish website called Thinking Toys at the very reasonable price of €4.50!

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HEADSPACE FOR KIDS

For me, I still feel guided meditation works best although I do practice unguided also and while I use guided recordings from my MBSR course I have also found the HEADSPACE App as a very effective way of encouraging me to meditate. There is also a section in the app for kids which I find is excellent and both my kids love using it - especially the sleep ones that can be from as little as 1, 3 or 5 minutes long.

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GRATITUDE & METTA LOVINGKINDNESS

Along with these gentle reminders and some MoMe Cards in his bedroom I have also introduced mindful eating into mealtimes where we they get to describe the textures and sensations of the food they are tasting. Again, I will do a separate blog post soon on this practice. Or at night time I often will ask how his hands feel under the water as he is washing them.

One of the most effective Mindful exercises I have introduced with both of my children is practicing Gratitude and Metta Lovingkindness each night. With my son, I just start off by telling him 3-5 things I am grateful for and then he tells me 3-5 things he is grateful for and on the nights he has more energy he will start first! We follow that by practicing Metta Lovingkindness which is a little meditation prayer that helps send positive and healing energy to himself and people in other places - even to a friend or a classmate who might have upset him at school that day. This not only shows him self-love but also teaches him about compassion for others. It goes as follows:

"May I be happy and peaceful,

May I be healthy and strong,

May I be safe from inner and outer harm,

May I live with ease"

He then goes on to say:

"May You be happy and peaceful,

May You be healthy and strong,

May You be safe from inner and outer harm,

May You live with ease"

He also sends his wishes to other favorite objects such as his toys and stuffed animals and it's repeated to whoever he wants to direct it to - depending on how late it is and or how tired he is - or I am!

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THE BEST THING YOU CAN GIVE IS YOU

All in all the best gift of mindfulness we as parents can give our children is the gift of being present. Really being there with them when we are sitting with them or playing a game with them and not letting our minds wander off to something we need to do in an hour or something we may have said to someone at work. They really notice it when we are really listening to them and are aware from a very young age the difference between our eyes looking at them when they are telling us something and our eyes looking at our phones instead.

By bringing awareness to mindful practice in your every day life it will also start to bring benefits to your children's life without striving or trying too hard to introduce it, it will just start to happen and you will start to notice the benefits. The last thing I would ever want is for my children to think of mediation as something they had to do or that they had to think a certain way.

As they are both growing and changing I know that what they have learned so far from mindfulness will give them both a calmness an clarity that will continue to benefit them for many years to come.

Staying Present in the Story

I've always loved reading stories to both of my children and introduced them both to books at a very young age. Being a designer I have always been attracted to books that are beautifully designed and illustrated and got great enjoyment browsing through the children's books in every book shop. The many benefits of reading to you child are endless and we all know them but how often do we read the story from start to finish while being totally present? There were often those evenings when they were very young when I was so tired that I might have tried to skip a page without them knowing it. Or those evenings when I had a list of things to do that you just needed to get to the end quickly so that they would fall asleep. I don't think I'm alone when I say it's happened to us all at some stage! What I've discovered since practicing mindfulness is when you are completely present in the story as you read it you will not alone be spending quality time with your child - you will also be experiencing looking at things in childlike wonder and you might really enjoy the story as it unfolds - even if you've read it 20 times before!

My memories of childhood stories are ones that had a clear beginning - starting with "Once Upon a Time..." - and a distinct end "...and they all lived happily ever after" and middle part knitting the two together. But since I started reading to my daughter over 10 years ago, what I have discovered is that children's books have come such a long way since I was a child - not just in how the story itself is told but also in the illustration and how this is now such a major part of every child's book.

Both my children have always loved storytime every night and like my daughter, my son loves books with humour and to hear him laugh out loud on certain pages of his favourite books is something I treasure. Often even when my husband - or my daughter (as she likes to read to him too) is reading to him instead of me I often potter around folding clothes or tidying up and instead of thinking about all the things I need to do I just listen as the story is being told. It's such a lovely way to bring yourself back to the present moment as you listen into the conversation or really listen to the sound of laughter coming from the room.

The wonder in every word and every illustration...

My son is also very captivated by illustration and I have found that he really studies the pictures and will ask so many questions about each one which such a great way of being present with your child and a time when they can also open up about how they are feeling about something going on in their little heads.

My sons favourite are the range of books by Oliver Jeffers - an artist, illustrator and writer who is originally from Belfast but now lives in New York. Along with the amazing illustrations, my son loves the humour and the wit in every story and there is also a real sense of "anything can happen". Each story is told beautifully with "How to Catch a Star" a story about possibilities and also disappointments which also highlights the patience of the boy who tries to catch the star and the happiness he felt when he found what he thought was the star.

"Lost and Found" is also another beautifully told story that looks at feelings such as sadness and loneliness and the kindness in the boy who really wanted to help the penguin be happy. Determination and inventiveness are highlighted in the very funny story "Stuck" and another book imaginary Fred that helped strike up a conversation about loneliness and what it feels like to feel lonely (yes, my son is only 6 but he likes to ask alot of questions!). The illustrations and artwork in each book has also influenced my son in his artwork and given him great confidence in his own drawing ability as he has taken inspiration from each book.

To me, these books have also helped me to re-discover my childlike wonder as when you read them you have no idea where the story is going to take you - or how it will end and no matter how many times you read each one they have a way of holding your attention - no matter how tired you may feel at the end of your day.

Luke's collection of Oliver Jeffer's Books

Overall, what I love about these books in particular is that they help teach a 6 year old that that life isn't always plain sailing with a fairytale ending but it's also about the crazy unpredictable stuff that can happen along the way and how we feel when these things happen is always okay.

A Bank Holiday Well Spent

Every year for the last few years I have been saying the same thing "We should go to Bloom" but somehow for one reason or another we never went. Mainly because for a number of those years we had a mobile home in Liscannor so every June Bank holiday weekend when the Bloom Festival was on we were down there. This year as we are in the process of redesigning our garden we said "OK...no more excuses!". Then just when we thought "yay! I'm finally going to Bloom!" my poor little son got sick with a chest infection. I just thought okay, I'm going to be mindful about this as this is out of my control and there's nothing we can do about it - we'll aim for next year!

Bloom Festival...a real family fun day out

The funny thing was the one who was most disappointed about us not going was my son! After lots of couch cuddles on saturday and sunday he had a good nights sleep on the sunday night and was much brighter on the monday so after much deliberating - and major convincing from him we decided to head off. It was a late start for us (due to the deliberating and temperature checking) but again in the past I probably would have thought - it's too late it will be lunchtime before we get there. I thought - we'll be there by lunchtime so we'll have the full afternoon! As predicted, we got there by 1pm. After driving from Limerick we parked our car at the Red Cow Inn and got the Luas into Hueston Station where there were free shuttle buses going to and from the Phoenix Park where Bloom was on so it was stress free as we avoided the traffic and having to find parking.

Appreciating the tastes and smells...

Luke sampling some Innocent Smoothies

Checking out the Cully and Sully Food Lab in the rain!

On arrival I was very impressed with Bloom’s new ‘kids passport’ initiative, which gave my 6 year old son a wristband with a contact mobile phone number printed on it so that if he was to get separated from us in the crowd that we could be easily re-united. He's not one for wondering off but he was still happy out with his wristband! My daughter now having her own mobile phone was less impressed. As we arrived at lunchtime, we went straight for food and to say we couldn't have been in a better place was an understatement! We were surrounded by Ireland’s top food and beverage producers with the best of fresh food, artisan and organic produce, meat, poultry and fish and ‘Best in Season’ fruit and vegetables. We spotted two familiar places - Adare Farm and Country Choice (which we frequently visit in Limerick's Milk Market on a Saturday) - but these both had the longest ques - and with the beautiful aromatic smells wafting from both of them and knowing how their food tastes I'm not one bit surprised. The most popular items from the Country Choice stand appeared to be their iconic flash fried sirloin of Hereford with sweet carmalized onions, Country Choice honey and mustard salsa, mature Cashel blue, roast peppers and local Organic leaves all on a warm Ciabiatta. While Adare Farm had their roast suckling pork that would melt in your mouth with every bite.

There was also the Bloom Bistro that offered a more formal sit-down meal, or an informal café and seafood-bar which unfortunately we only discovered later that day. We were handed maps on our way in but I did think that the food options on this weren't explained very well and could have been clearer visually - and that's not the designer in me speaking as my husband agreed!

A Visual Treat in Garden Design

After we had sampled the food and we felt content with our full bellies we headed off to explore the gardens. The visual display of flowers, plants and trees here didn't disappoint and to see what some of the garden designers had created with their spaces was beautiful. We also managed to pause as much as possible to smell all the gorgeous roses and saw lots of bees To top it off there was even a Dispicable Me Garden with 2 Minions that made my son's day! After we had visited the gardens the rain unfortunately started to fall so we didn't get to spend as much time in the kids area as we would have liked but did get to check out strawberries and bluberries growing in the Keelings stand and my daughter also got to watch a visual tour of the Keelings farm which she enjoyed but to my son's dismay was over 12's. After my son got to sample some Innocent Smoothies we made our way back to the food stalls to purchase some produce and at this point there were lots of bargains on offer as the weekend was coming to an end so we stocked up on pestos, cold meats and even hand-made chololate and gourmet marsh mallows by Mallow Mia!

All in all this family day out was definitely worth a trip and something that we finally got to experience. After all the years of saying "We must definitely go to Bloom" I can now finally say "I'm glad we experienced Bloom"!

Stopping To Smell the Roses

Most of us are very familiar with the saying "Stop and Smell the Roses" but do we really take enough time to actually do it? Before I was introduced to mindful practice it is something I would have heard alot but did I ever really think about it - or actually do it?? While the meaning of this well known phrase is to slow down and take a moment out of your busy life to pause and notice the beauty around you, I have also found that actually physically stopping to smell flowers can be such a mindful experience in itself. There really is something so uplifting to walk into a florist and stand and notice the beautiful shapes, colours, textures and above all the wonderful scents that surrounded us. Or how lovely is it to treat yourself to a bunch of flowers? It doesn't have to be an elaborate bunch but giving yourself a simple bunch of daffodils is a way of practicing self love and going out picking wild flowers with your children is such a great way of practicing mindfulness and can be so therapeutic. I have also always loved trips to Dublin and been in awe of the flower stands on Grafton Street...each one as beautiful as the next but while I noticed and admired them I was always rushing to the next shop so I never really paused long enough to really notice them.

Joeanna Caffreys beautiful store at Avoca, Rathcoole

Less 'formal' flowers such as tulips have always been favourites of mine, and I adore flowering plants such as baby's breath (Gypsophila) and sweet pea as they have such a beautiful innocence about them. Another flowering plant that has become more common in florists are hydrangeas. I adore their shape and colour and always remember when my aunt who lives in the US introduced me to the world of Martha Stewart 20 years ago I fell in love with how she used hydrangeas in beautiful wreaths and place settings. So much so that my aunt made 2 beautiful wreaths from cream hydrangeas as a wedding gift to put in the church the day I got married and I also had boxed hydrangeas as the centerpiece on every table.

It's funny how a flower can remind you of someone or remember an occasion and giving someone a bunch is something that can mean so much - even if it's a simple bunch of daffodils. When I visited Avoca Rathcoole recently I was so excited to discover one of the prettiest florist ever! I was a little hut-like garden shed with the name Joeanna Caffrey written over the awning. Joeanna's creativity is evident from the second you set your eyes on the first bunch of flowers you see.

There was a beautiful range of flowers and as it was close to easter some stunning easter wreaths tastefully decorated with speckled duck eggs. There were also some shrubs in lovely baskets and of course there were my favourite - hydrangeas laced in beautiful tin containers! Each one blooming next to each other as if they were all cheering each other on! It really was such a lovely place to visit - while it's space was small there was a bench outside that encouraged me to sit down for moment to admire it all before I decided on which hydrangea was coming home with me!

Joanna also has stores in Avoca Dunboyne and Kilmacanogue and if they are anyway near as beautiful as the one in Rathcoole then I would highly recommend a visit - even if you just stop to smell the roses.

Putting My MoMe Cards to the Test on TV3

When I was contacted by one of the lovely researchers at TV3 to appear on their Boost My Business section of Ireland AM, I was excited about the opportunity but also very scared at the thoughts of appearing on live TV! Television was something I had never done - I was comfortable sitting in front of a computer screen but it was a first for me appearing on national television and the fact that it was going to be live - yes LIVE!!! - would normally have only added to my anxiety if I had allowed it to! 

After running my own design agency for almost 2 decades, I had done many presentations to clients but since I developed tinnitus I struggled a bit with these until I started meditating. So while I was getting back on track meeting clients and presenting my designs, being on television was another kettle-of-fish! I firmly believe that being mindful about the upcoming appearance really helped how I felt about it. I also had my daughters confirmation on the friday previous so that was a welcomed distraction as I said to myself "I won't think about it until after the confirmation" and that's exactly what happened - it didn't enter my head from that initial call from TV3 until the Sunday before my appearance. 

On the journey up to Dublin that morning at 6am, apart from doing my make-up followed by a 10 minute meditation and chatting to my ever supportive husband, I decided to use my MoMe Cards to flick through. I shuffled them around a bit and it's funny as the one card that kept coming up was "Inhale, Exhale, that's how you'll get through it". I joked about it with my husband a bit but I can honestly say it helped me breathe and forget about the cameras and the fact that it was going to be live and just relax about the whole experience.

“I shuffled them around a bit and it’s funny as the one card that kept coming up was “Inhale, Exhale, that’s how you’ll get through it”.”

When we arrived at TV3 everyone there were so welcoming. I initially felt at ease - still a bit nervous - but definitely not anxious like I would have been in the past. I realise 100% that as we get older, age definitely helps us deal with situations like this, but without a doubt I know that mindfulness and meditation helped me breathe and relax in a situation that in the past I would have worked myself up into a tizzy over!

Behind the scenes getting ready for my first live tv appearance and remembering to Breathe!!

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It's a wrap! Such a lovely experience with all the Ireland AM team!

Meeting Alan Hughes and below with the lovely Sinéad Desmond who was an absolute pleasure to meet!

We didn't have long to get set up as obviously everything on Live TV happens so quickly - but again - that was probably a good thing! I got the chance to have a quick chat with the really lovely Sinéad Desmond, but after Mark Cagney introduced himself to us it was time to go live! Even though there was no time for a run-through and have a chat about what questions we would be asked, Mark made everyone feel at ease. He was a complete gentleman and even noticed how I was using my cards to help me breathe! So, along with listening to my breath and not my tinnitus ringing loudly, and focusing on what Mark was asking me and not the cameras - I ended up really enjoying the experience in that moment so it was all over before I knew it! 

After we wrapped up everyone was so lovely. I got to have another chat with Sinéad Desmond - who was so friendly and approachable - and so genuine! It really was such a lovely experience and one that I am very grateful to the team at Ireland AM and TV3 for. I received such fantastic feedback from family and friends after the appearance and it also proved to be a great way of boosting a little business that ironically never ever set out as one! Thank you TV3!